yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
