At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
