So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
