You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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