I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
