guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
