Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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