to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
