Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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