Pants 0. Shit 1.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize