Apparently you make a good broom.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
