party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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