i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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