yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Randomize
