so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
