I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
