He kissed a someone with a penis
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
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