I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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