this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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