who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
