It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I didn't notice because vodka
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
