why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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