I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
