u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize