I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
