oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Randomize
