I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
