i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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