I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Your dad touched me again.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
