I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
