fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
