i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
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I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
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I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.