i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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