i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Randomize
