Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Randomize
