next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
so much tequila, so little girl.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
