watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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