Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Girls should come with a carfax report
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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