So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
50% drunk capacity currently
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Randomize
