Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
