Fine. I'll sleep in my office
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
