If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
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