i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
