How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
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When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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