Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
