she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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