I wanna passion pit in your ass
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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