sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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