I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
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