He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
