I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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