You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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