I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Randomize
