I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
