Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Are we still banned from the library?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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