Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
