Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
