you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
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If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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