Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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