I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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