Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
