I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
