I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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